MUSINGS AT MANSA.
The persistent ring around 6.00am woke me from my sleep.
The voice at the other end sounded anxious.
P: Doc I woke up today morning feeling much better than what I have felt in the past few months.
Me: That’s great to hear, and appreciate the early morning feedback.
Patient: I am sorry for calling you at this time. The reason I called you is I am afraid now. I do not want to go back into depression. I feel like committing suicide. I do not want to burden my friends again with my problems.
Now I was alert. I could understand her apprehension and guilt. I asked P to call me back in 10 minutes. As I switched on the laptop to connect on a video call, I saw my daughter’s painting of a lamp burning in the night and silently thanked my teacher for the answer.
She again spoke about her fear and looked distressed. I empathized with her told her that it’s but natural to have these apprehensions and responses. I then showed her the painting and asked her what could she see in that.
Patient: I can see the Iamp make a futile effort to dispel the darkness. The Iight will be extinguished and the darkness will prevail.
Me: Is there another beautiful lesson in the picture?
P: I feel like the darkness that is engulfing everything…so …No Doc, there is no beauty here.
Me: If that feeling is your depression than I guess the lamp symbolizes your friends who are trying to brighten up your darkness
Patient: See now, you understand my fear…my friends are being burdened by my depression, and what if it comes again? Doc I would rather exit the world when I am happy …..
Me: I can appreciate your apprehension about the depression coming back..but for now let us focus on the beautiful magic in the painting.
The Beauty?? P again looked at painting and repeated that the effort by the lamp was futile, and that in the end, the oil and wick would be exhausted and the flame extinguished. The lamp would be bearing the heat of the flame ..but again only to be engulfed by the darkness. She seemed anxious and looked at me if I had finally got her message.
I smiled and replied :agree to the fact, but You just missed the beauty again. Now irritated, she asked me to come to the point.
Me:Can the oil, the wick or the lamp individually produce the flame?
Patient: No…the wick would burn in a short time without the oil…while the oil and lamp individually cannot light up…( now she looked at me, more irritated)
Me: When is the lamp needed?
Patient: In darkness. (more annoyed now)
Me: As the darkness makes us value the lamp, so in your dark times you found the value of friendship. Treasure it, do not undermine it please. For me the beauty is three friends coming together to create a fourth entity -THE FLAME;each in turn contributing as per its potential. In turn they find in themself, a new potential and a new purpose- all adding up to create a greater value. They would not have found this value in the absence of darkness. Your friends and you have found the value of friendship in this adversity. It has helped strengthen the bond of trust and understanding between you all. That’s what I see as the beauty in all of this.
Patient: it all seems easy to speak…
Me: Agree, but we all have an option to choose which end of the stick we see…
She seemed lost but then looked up with a brief smile and said…Yes!..I think I will make an effort ..and Thanks..will call up my friends and tell them too how I felt when I woke up…I think it will helpbrighten up their day.
Me: And at night, look up at the sky and realize you can appreciate the twinkle of the stars only in the dark.
Dr. Ninad Baste
DR. NINAD BAST, MBBS MD [Psychological Medicine]
Affiliations: Maharashtra Medical Council [registration no.: 2003/03/1356], Pune Psychiatry Association, Indian Psychiatry Society, Bombay Psychiatry Society.
A desire to understand patients' needs in their illness phase and help them through it led Dr. Ninad to specialize in psychiatry after completing his MBBS. He earned his MD in psychological medicine from Mumbai's prestigious Seth GS Medical College. His special areas of interest are neurocognitive medicine, sexual medicine, marital counseling, and personal counseling.
He held the post of president of the Indian Psychological Society [IPS-Pune Chapter] for the year 2017–2018. Dr. Ninad was also a postgraduate guide and an associate professor at Smt. Kashibai Navale Medical College and a general hospital. He has worked on the editorial board of the Annals of Indian Psychiatry, which is the official journal of the IPS-West zone.
He has been a faculty member for various conferences and a member of the organizing committees of some conferences held in Pune.
